Good Decision made Bad

 

What will you choose?

Have you ever had a detention?  While growing up, I didn’t push the limits very often and as a result, did not receive negative consequences during the school day.  If I did, I know my parents would have supported the school with every fiber in their body and the consequences doled out at school would be the least of my worries.

A student named Tom finished serving an after school detention and called home to be picked up.  Tom grunted some words into the phone and mumbled a few others and placed the receiver back on the cradle.  Minutes later, my assistant informed me that Tom’s father was on the phone and would like to speak with me.  I knew it wasn’t going to go well.

I greeted Tom’s father pleasantly, but he was less than reciprocal.  Without wasting any time, he clearly stated how unhappy he was with our school’s inability to honor the wish of a parent.  I pleaded with him to give me some background information while he continued to degrade the people that serve his son daily.  He did so willingly, too willingly.  When he completed his barrage of negativity, I discovered the request that we allegedly ignored.  

Tom’s father requested to have his son’s detention moved from Friday to Monday earlier  in the day with the associate principal.  The associate obliged and made the necessary arrangements and alerted our staff.  However, Tom, reported to detention and served it anyway.

By this time, Tom was in my office and I placed his father on speaker phone.  I asked Tom who made him stay after school and to ignore his father’s commands.  Tom retorted, “Nobody, why?”  He further incriminated himself by admitting that he didn’t hear his father tell him to not report to detention as he would talk to the associate principal and get the date switched.  Just a middle school boy mistake, not a big deal.

Tom’s father, however, is a big deal.  Tom’s father was moving detention dates so his son could ride home with another family for a birthday party.  Not really a reason to put aside the consequences for poor behavior.  

I willingly admit, that our schools punishments are sub par and do not, in most cases, re-direct bad behavior, but we are making progress through building strong relationships.  Tom’s father, unfortunately, and others like him are attempting to undermine the authority of our school and the relationships that have been kindled.  These moments provide valuable lessons for students.

Before Tom left my office, I asked him what he thought of the events that had just unfolded.  Tom knew clearly that serving the detention was the right thing to do.  I agreed with Tom and encouraged him to make the right choice in the future even when it may be difficult.  

How can schools better reach the parents of the students enrolled in their buildings?  People are busy and parent meetings after school are not well attended.  Today’s economy has forced many families to find two incomes and their time has become very valuable.  As parents, would you be willing to read blog posts, conference using Skype, sign up to follow our school on Twitter?  All the options previously stated are available at this time.  All of us are seeking the same goal, the best for our students, your children.  

 

Please add comments about the attempts your schools have made to better inform the stakeholders within your schools.